Christmas was a big 2 week trip back East to visit my family.  And recently we hit Vegas!

Vegas with kids you say?  Yes!  It was actually a fantastic trip.  We had both of our Dads there with their respective girlfriends and of course Uncle Brandon lives there, so it was quite the family vacation.  We stayed at Mandalay Bay, THE Hotel.  Highly recommend this hotel if your going to Vegas with your kids for a few reasons.  THEHotel does NOT have a casino so you can escape the chaos (and avoid the nagging “I want to play that game” – ie., the slot machine, each time you pass one on your way to your room – we got this request about a 100 times).  The rooms are also all suites meaning you get both a bedroom and a living room – key for nap time.  And of course the beach, lazy river and wave pool in The Mandalay Bay is a hit with the kids.  Though, children under 4′+ can’t go into the wave pool.  And, the rate was incredibly affordable ($139/night…we are paying more for a cabin in Big Bear this summer per night).

We also took the children to the Shark Reef at Mandalay Bay.  Great aquarium and pretty amazing to see the sharks swim above you as you walk through the aquarium.

Stella and I hit Disney’ The Lion King show…absolutely amazing.  The opening Act alone was worth going back again to see.  It was Stella’s first show and she loved.  Sebby didn’t get to go as we thought he was too little to sit through the entire thing but in retrospect I think he might have.  Every time we passed the theater they both went wild with excitement and insist on reading the book every night now.

As for dining…there’s not a ton that is both Mom/Dad friendly and kid friendly.  We hit a few “burger” joints but the hit meal of trip was definitely brunch at Simon’s at the Palms.  Definitely a crowd pleaser from anyone aged 0-100 (our Dad’s really enjoyed)…Not only do they have amazing made to order selections and small but high quality buffet items but they had plenty of healthy options (beet root juice and green drink) and a candy bar…They also have an old school dessert plate (think homemade ho-hos, snowballs, rice krispy treats, caramel corn and cotton candy).

We actually drove this trip which ended up being pretty easy (5.5+ hrs) with no problems except early in the trip on the way out there Stella kept crying hysterically saying “there is a toy stuck in my nose…”  Some how we averted a trip to the hospital when I finally got her to “blow” the small ball out of her nose…She later asked when I told her never to put anything in her nose again if she could put something in her ear then…

Anyone who knows us knows that neither Justin nor I enjoy long car journey’s but we figure that if it’s going to take us about the same amount of time door to door to fly then we might as well drive now that we are party of 4!

We also recently broke down and bought a DVD player before our Christmas trip…it was well worth the purchase though I do have to admit Justin and I had a bit of a “smug” sense of pride that Stella was 3.5 and Sebby 1.5 before we actually bought the DVD player and we’ve made hundreds of trips (both car and plane) without one.  And even now, it only comes out on long (think over 2 hour) car drives or plane trips.

Here’s my thoughts (and some tips) on why you should postpone bringing out the DVD player on trips as long as possible.

1.  Once it’s out…it’s hard to put it away…

2.  Part of the road trip or plane adventure is taking in the scenery, learning to entertain yourself with simple things like reading or coloring or writing vs. being entertained.

3.  You can use it as a reward for good behavior…now I’m sure I might be getting into trouble here by saying that it should be used for a reward but it seems to work for us…

So, consider turning of the DVD player, kick old school and enjoy a road trip like you used to with Mom and Dad, radio sing-a-longs or games of “I Spy” or “Punch Buggie…”  You might just have some fun.

We have a few adventures planned for the summer so I hope to post more soon.

Until then…see for yourself how much Stella and Sebastian enjoyed Vegas….this was shot soon after we returned home.

Stella and Sebby Want to Go Back To Veags

Probably not…

Anyway, Justin is away drumming us up some more business partners this week and again next week.  I should be there too but the reality is we have two very small children and I love them and don’t want to leave them that long.   Not to mention, who would they stay with?  The problems with living in a town where you know no one (outside of business colleagues, a few parents I’ve met and our nanny) and have no family. You are alone in the parenting.

I have to say, parenting alone the past few days hasn’t been that hard.  I did complain this AM to my nanny (she’s come in today for her twice a week nanny gig for me to work) that my arm was hurting from carrying Sebby and Stella so much….that’s my only complaint?

In some ways things have been easier.  No fussy dinner to make (the children will eat just about anything as long as there is some meat and fruit).  No cleaning up after my “third child” (now that he’s gone “paleo” the grease clean-up from all his “healthy breakfasts” has become an overwhelming YUCK feast on the cleaning front).  No waking up in the middle of the night when the “third child” decides to come to bed after falling asleep on the couch…No coordination of plans.

But on the flip side there’s also no help with baths, no help with bedtime, no help with delivering Stella to school on time and picking her up.  No help with meals.  But more importantly I’m lonely.  No one to share a laugh with over something funny the kids did.  No one to strategize with on how to best discipline …does anyone really know?  That’s something Justin and I work on together as neither of us have it figured out…who does?   And no one to kiss goodnight and snuggle up with in the morning.  No one to fall back on if something goes wrong.

As Hillary Clinton made famous the African proverb “it takes a village to raise a child,” I reflect, how do single parents raise a child?  It’s not easy.

I feel blessed to have a loving husband and caring father to help me on the road to raising our children.  What of those who do not have that spousal support on a daily basis?  What about those fathers or mothers who have to travel weekly for their jobs?  Is the parent left at home basically a single parent?  I’ve heard many a parent lament over this issue.

And I fear that my children don’t have a “village” to raise them.  We’ve moved to a new city, that we are enjoying as a family and as we grow our business, but we lack a village.  No family, no close friends.

I grew up with a huge “village” of close family and friends and I reflect fondly on my younger years.  I truly believe it formed who I am today in many of the good ways.  I had many teachers.  I learned different ways of doing things.  I received feedback (good and bad) regularly from different people who loved me.

While I complain a bit about being alone the next few days to raise our children I actual worry more about the village I don’t have.

My sister and her son are flying out next week to spend some time with me and the children while Justin is away.  My “fly-in” village.  Our parents come often for visits with the children.  Their weekend “village.”

Friends come for a day her or there for visits.  The children love it and in some ways it’s still part of “our village.”

We have hired a nanny who comes twice a week and is from a different culture (Hispanic) who provides “our village” with different ways of doing things.  She brings her daughters some times, fun “stand in cousins” for the children.

Stella has started pre-school at an elementary school with 24 other children and 3 teachers.  “Our village” is growing.

But at what point will I not feel alone in this parenting thing? When will “our village” be big enough to shoulder the enormous responsibility of raising a child?

As a disclaimer Justin did a great job with the kids while I was gone but I have to say…it’s definitely different from when he goes away.

Daddy’s Pre-Trip Preparation:
Pack Bag
Print Boarding Pass
Mommy checks to see that Daddy has cell phone, charger, etc…

Mommy’s Pre-Trip Preparation:
Grocery shop (can’t have an empty fridge for the kiddies and Daddy)
Clean
Do laundry (what will they wear when I’m gone?)
Arrange child care while away (yes, Daddy has part-time duty)
Check that there’s enough diapers, wipes, etc…
Water plants
Open mail and deal with mail, pay bills
Schedule activities for children
Pack Bag
Print Boarding Pass
Double check that she has essentials

Now, Mommy or Daddy is off for a few days.

They return…

Daddy’s return:
On time pick-up at the airport with full tank of gas.
Children happy
Dinner prepared
Quiet evening at home, ahh, “it’s nice to be home he says…”
Mommy unpacks and does his laundry

Mommy’s Return:
Late pick-up at the airport
Children cranky
Dinner out
Unpack
Put the children to bed
Open mail and pay bills
Do laundry
Fill up gas tank

Buy groceries
Catch up on work
Water Plants
Take children to activities and appointments

Ahh…equality and women’s lib…gotta love it!

In the midst of holiday travel planning and getting excited about our next adventure as a family.

I’m off to Vancouver next week on a solo mission to pass my Canadian Citizenship Test. My first 2 nights away from the family since we had Stella. Justin has some back-up day support but will be on his own at night…wish him luck!

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I’m one of those mom’s who can’t leave their children for fear that something terrible will happen. Like they might wake up in the middle of the night crying (gasp) or what if they go hungry (have you seen our children eat)?

Or maybe I’ll miss some major event (Sebby is going to walk any day now, I’m sure of it…Note: he barely wobbles in a standing position…he ain’t walking any time soon…).

Not that I don’t leave them for the date night or to finally get back to my career and work a bit. It’s just the overnight thing. I want to be the last person to tuck them in at night. Give them a kiss. And the first to see them when they wake up. Is that so bad?

But I also know that I’m in desperate need of a few things for me:

1. A night of un-interrupted sleep.
2. A morning where I wake up when I want.
3. A night when I go to sleep when I want (most nights, it’s early because of #2)

….are you noticing a theme here…SLEEP!

4. Some alone time with a book by the pool without an “expiration date” or someone asking me to help them with 1 of about a million things.
5. And of course some serious QT with my hubby.

Next weekend we are finally going to get that time. We’ve just booked a night in Los Angeles for a work event and more importantly some adult time.

Justin’s Dad is coming down for a visit and he and his girlfriend are going to watch Stella and Sebby for us.

Of course I’ve got a laundry list of things to get organized to make sure things are easy for Grandad and Teresa while we are away.

But this trip it’s fun to actually get to plan what I’m going to wear. Where we are going to eat. What club we are going to hit. What book and magazines I’ll be bringing to the pool!

Not:
How many diapers should I bring;
Do we need both strollers?
What snacks, toys, books, etc. should I bring?
When should we plan to drive up so it coordinates with naps?
What will we do while we are there that children will like?
Call to book a crib for the hotel…
Yada, yada, yada…

Nope, none of that.

So easy!

The simplest “baby free” travel.

A word on my absence from writing…

Life has been pretty chaotic for us over the past 8-9 months. We moved 4 times…were homeless for a month (not bad “homeless” but just in between houses and spent time with family and friends), bought and furnished a condo in Vancouver, started a new business, moved to San Diego…the list goes on. But hopefully I’ll be back to writing more. We don’t have a lot of trips planned (staycation is in our vocabulary now…a bit tired of travel) but I have quite a few to catch up on.

There was quite a bit of organizing and planning involved for this trip as Stella is staying behind (Grandad, Justin’s Dad, is here and taking her to Sea World and Disneyland) and we are just taking Sebby.

A little QT with Sebby (something he hasn’t really had being “the second born”) and also some time for Stella to enjoy her Grandad and his girlfriend Teresa. And of course a little break for Justin and I. Our old and dear nanny, Ciska, is going to babysit a bit for us as well. We are looking forward to seeing her.

Tomorrow night we are going to the Swiss House (most of the big countries represented at the Olympics have a “house”). Saturday we are going to just enjoy the Olympic venues downtown or in Richmond. Sunday we are going to a venue downtown to watch the USA vs. Canada game. Should be a good time. No events on the agenda for now…tickets are crazy expensive or not so exciting (curling anyone…).

But who knows!

Will miss my little girl dearly but should be a great weekend. It will be our first time away from her.

It’s weird to be traveling again with just one baby and it seems so simple since he’s still breastfeeding and doesn’t really need any toys. We aren’t even checking bags…

Vancouver here we come!

Will be a very relaxing drift off to sleep tonight…I’ve never felt more relieved!

I’ve had my blankie since I was born.

I was brought home from the hospital with it.

I’ve slept with it every night minus the months I’ve gone traveling for extensive periods of time. And it never went away with me for a weekend or a week long trip (minus college where in some cases I had to take it with me to be protected from my roommates-you know who you are – Heather and Alison- who found it funny to “torture” blankie by hanging it outside and other bizarre things!).

But generally speaking, I’ve slept with it every night of my life.

It’s comforted me on the worst days of my life and relaxed me on the longest days. And all the days in between it just made me feel “good.”

Well blankie is gone. Vanished. Lost on our trip to San Diego…I’m heart broken. I’ve called every hotel we stayed. Justin’s Mom has searched her guest room countless times. I’m actually impressed at how understanding and thoughtful some of the hotels have been…even when I tell them, well, actually “it doesn’t really look like a blankie…it’s just some shreds of material…”

It’s been like losing someone close to you. I feel lost. I’m embarrassed to admit this but it is true.

My blankie held a ton of sentimental value to me. It wasn’t much more than a piece of tied together string (what was left of both my blankie and my mother’s blankie’s soft edges–I “inherited” my mother’s when she passed away five years ago–more on the shreds later)- Or better said by my good friend Katina when we were living together one college summer and it went missing after a big party…and I quote, “oh that, I thought it was something the cats drug in and threw it away.” Several hours later and after much digging in the apartment complex dumpster and trashbags, blankie was found and given a very good bath.

Blankie, to my knowledge only went missing one other time. It was several months after Justin and I had been dating. He used to think it was funny and would throw it around my room playing games at seeing what he could hit with it…ummm, not so understanding of my attachment. It went missing one day and I blamed him for months. It finally turned up when I moved out of my place. It had been wedged between my bed frame and the wall.

Now that it’s gone and after having to describe it to countless hotel staff, it got me thinking, why was blankie in shreds? Why was it merely a bunch of tied together edge pieces? What happened to the rest of it? Now that I’m a mother with a daughter who has a blankie and a “blankie attached little boy in training” I think I know why…my mother must have cut the blankie up so that if it went missing she had a spare bit to give me (I vividly remember stories being told of when I was 2 or so and had to have my tonsils removed and she got all the way to my grandmother’s to drop my brother off to be watched and then had to go all the way back home (45 mins) to get my blannkie). So eventually all the pieces must have gotten so worn out that she had to tie them together. I’m not sure about this theory but I’m guessing it’s a pretty good one.

So what does all this have to do with a blog about traveling with children? A lot.

You see when you travel (child or not) part of the excitement (or not) is being in an unknown place with unfamiliar tastes, sounds, sites, smells, etc. For an adult this can be very exhilarating (or unnerving for those who don’t like change or different things). For a 2 year old it can be quite disturbing. Bring a child’s blankie (or any “lovey” for that matter) along and that sense of comfort of home and familiarity is maintained. While we don’t let the children take their blankies out on everyday adventures (for fear of losing them), they are always with us on overnight trips anywhere.

Travel tip: if your child has a blankie or a lovey, don’t leave home without it if you are traveling. And I guess if you think it might get lost have a spare just in case. Or cut up the blankie into pieces so there’s several spares…

I’m fearful that blankie is in a landfill somewhere in California but hoping that maybe blankie will still turn up.

But for now R.I.P. BLANKIE, you will be missed…

We left Vancouver on December 31st with one goal in mind, don’t crumble and buy the portable DVD player…

We did it! It was sort of a personal thing for Justin and me. Everyone said, “you have to get a DVD player for Stella,” but for multiple reasons we didn’t want to do it. We agreed that if it got bad we’d pull over at the first Wal-Mart we could find along I-5 and buy a Dora Box Set along with a portable DVD player!

Even the fights over the radio (Stella wanting Dora or her “Music Together” CD’s and Justin wanting to listen to all things sports or 70′/80′s rock…I was happy with my magazine) weren’t so bad.

In all fairness we didn’t do any crazy driving days. We started out with a short trip to Seattle where we spent 2 nights and then broke the bulk of the trip up into 3-4 hour driving chunks. 3-4 hours in the morning, a break for lunch and 3-4 hours in the evening for 3 straight days. With a final stop in LA the day before we arrived in San Diego on January 5th.

Both Stella and Sebby did really well. I had a lot of toys and snacks and spent a bit of time in between the two of them reading books and singing songs. We even had a fun evening of making up new words to songs. I also spent a bit of time hovered over Sebby breastfeeding while Justin was driving…no easy task and quite amusing to the trucks passing by I’m sure…

Little Sebby also cut his first tooth on the trip!

My advice for anyone planning a long road trip…
1. Don’t plan any driving distance for more than 3-4 hours with out a significant break (we didn’t do any drive-thru lunches but actually went in and sat down). Everyone needs to stretch their legs and get some fresh air.
2. If we could we tried not to stop for 3-4 hours (note my breastfeeding gymnastics above) but did have the occasional potty break (for me…). I tried to get Stella and Sebby out at each of these 1.5 hour breaks but Stella didn’t want to get out usually.
3. Have tons of healthy snacks and variety…and don’t be afraid to let your toddler have a bit of candy…it’s a nice treat…but not too much or you’ll have a wild child in the back seat.
4. GPS! We don’t travel without it. We swear it “saved our marriage” on our last cross country trip!
5. Get plenty of sleep! I didn’t sleep in the car as I was usually pretty busy with the children and then when they slept it was nice to just chat with Justin or read a magazine, however, I was in bed when the children went to bed each night.
6. If you can get a little exercise in the evening after you arrive it really helps. This is one thing we didn’t get to do much but I think it would have made me feel a lot better over all.

Outside of Sebby’s new tooth the trip was pretty uneventful which was great given the chaotic and “bad luck” we’d had in December.

For all of our friends and family who have contemplated coming out to our new place in San Diego for a visit…don’t delay, book your ticket! This place is awesome. We only have it for 4 months so we’d love to share this time with as many of you as possible.

Sorry we don’t have any pictures to share…our camera broke just as our “bad luck December” started.